Last night, Marc and I were talking about Ethan and the kind of person he'll turn out to be. It's a little daunting to know that we will be held responsible for the adult he becomes. Makes me think back to being pregnant and not knowing if we were having a boy or a girl. I used to listen to this song by Marc Cohen called The Things We've Handed Down from my Mad About You soundtrack
Will you laugh just like your mother
Will you sigh like your old man
Will some things skip a generation
Like I've heard they often can
Are you a poet or a dancer
A devil or a clown
Or a strange new combination of
The things we've handed down
As I was driving I would contemplate what this little person in my belly was going to look like and act like. Lots of wishing and hoping going on then, and I think we got the best combination of us in Ethan!
Anyway, back to my conversation with Marc...I think kids rebel when their parents have an ideal and are unwilling to bend, regardless of what might be best for the kiddo. It's kind of like putting peas on the plate even though you know kiddo won't eat them. Why not just switch it up for another veggie?? It's that whole "adapt and overcome" mentality.
Marc and I aren't afraid to change up the game plan whenever necessary. No written plays here...we go with the flow, and it seems to be working for us (have I just jinxed myself??!!)
We talked about the difference between teaching him what is right and wrong versus teaching how to decide what is right and wrong. I think the answer lies in the second choice. Life is all about making the right choice at any given moment. Create a thinker, wonderer, questioner...that's our goal.
When your child asks you "why" how often do you say "because" and leave it at that? I'm totally guilty. I once challenged myself to NOT use "because" in my answers to him. I know what you are thinking, and yes, it's just as hard as you think! Try looking up "because" in the thesaurus and you don't get a whole lot of choices that would make any sense to a toddler.
I have to remind myself that it's fantastic that he's asking the questions and not just taking our word for it. Marc is great at this and answering his questions. Shows we are creating that thinker, wonderer, questioner. Don't believe everything you hear and always ask questions...ALWAYS!!